A Piece of (Peace off) Advice!

I can’t quite categorise what was given to me as advice. After all, advice is something you can choose to accept or ignore. This particular statement, however, has evolved into my life’s guiding principle. It’s become a mantra that keeps me going and is one of the reasons I’m still here.

In many instances, we tend to place others before ourselves. We give someone precedence without realising we hold no place on their priority list. We form attachments that bring immense pain when severed. And we often hand over our happiness into the hands of others.

Isn’t this a risky path? We often believe another person’s presence will magically fix everything in our lives. We invest our all in that person. But what transpires when that person departs? What if they never viewed us in the same light? Or worse, if they were merely using us?

It’s we who end up shattered. Loss and pain befall those who neglect to prioritise themselves. Being selfish isn’t inherently wrong. Rather than clutching onto something that’ll leave scars, it’s often wiser to let go. With time, wounds heal. You might even forget you were once holding onto something so tightly.

I personally struggled with this realisation. At one point, I even resorted to self-harm, mistakenly thinking it would alleviate my emotional torment. Even when I thought I was being selfish, I was inadvertently surrendering my happiness to someone else’s whims. I was mistaken.

When I claim to have learned the hard way that it’s permissible to be authentically selfish, I mean it. By “the hard way,” I genuinely mean it. My brother employs this phrase. Our phone conversations consistently steer in that direction, leading him to reiterate it time and again.

This isn’t a self-serving act.

It’s an act of survival.

It’s acceptable to put yourself first.

In case of emergency, wear your own oxygen mask first and then help the others.

If you fear someone will be hurt due to this approach, remember, you don’t truly need that person in your life. Presently, I observe many of my friends undergoing considerable suffering because they struggle to prioritize themselves.

Are you dealing with emotional abuse? Walk away. Your inner tranquility takes precedence over how that person might react. Is someone dragging you down with negativity? Create some distance. And to the question, “Who will console that person?” I pose another: Who will bring solace to you? Do you believe no one loves you? Fine. Understand that not everyone will consistently love us. It’s time to love ourselves.

If we’re unwilling to nurture and cherish ourselves, then who will? Mother Teresa? Whenever I’m feeling low, I turn to a particular friend of mine. She consistently imparts the same wisdom. It’s okay to consider yourself. It’s okay to pamper yourself. It’s absolutely fine to be self-centered. I’m not advocating neglecting others altogether. I’m merely suggesting that our own name should be atop the list of “Who to care for,” before any other name.

We deserve nothing less than that!

This is part of the discover challenge : A Piece of Advice