Just Keep Driving

It’s a peculiar thing how something as arbitrary as a song on the radio can trigger a memory you didn’t even realize you were cherishing, causing it to resurface. And when it does, a bittersweet smile appears because the memory belongs to the past and holds no relevance in the present. That’s exactly what happened when I stumbled upon the song “Keep Driving” by Harry Styles. It reminded me of a guy who might have been the last genuinely decent person I dated. The person who could have been my potential partner now, if only life hadn’t had different plans.

I met this guy on a fine February day, and we hit it off immediately. The attraction was so intense that both of us felt compelled to extend what was meant to be a simple movie date for a few more hours. He deliberately took the long route back home to give us extra time together. A classic illustration of the Dobler-Dahmer theory. If an Uber driver had taken me on an extended route, I’d have been worried. Yet, that night, I felt safe with him. I never doubted his intentions for a single moment. His inability to directly ask for more time after dinner, resulting in us just driving around, was rather endearing. When he dropped me off at home, it was clear a second date was in the cards. He later confessed he regretted not kissing me goodbye that night.

When you encounter someone who is genuinely wonderful and gives you butterflies, you hold onto them tightly. And that’s exactly what we did. Despite upcoming travels on his end and challenging family circumstances on mine, we made the most of the time we had together. A significant portion of that time was spent driving between our homes. So we kept driving. He was content to drive aimlessly when I wasn’t ready to head home just yet. I’m eternally grateful for that. He never pushed for us to do something else. He was at ease when I leaned on his arm while he maneuvered the gear shift with his other hand so as not to disturb me.

There was an undeniable chemistry between us that still brings a smile to my face as I write this. But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Given my track record, anything remotely positive in my life inevitably turns to smoke.

Our breakup was one of the most heart-wrenching experiences. Letting go of him was incredibly difficult. We even tried to be friends afterward. However, I’ve come to believe that exes being friends is an implausible notion. It implies you never truly loved them. At least, that’s my personal opinion. As I write this, I’m confident he has happily moved on and is unaware of the existence of this blog or post. And I’m genuinely pleased that he’s moved on.

But when I heard Harry sing, “Should we just keep driving?” my mind drifted back to those moments when this person held my hand over the gear shift and posed the same question. As much as I’d love to say yes, I’m content to admit that I want to go home.