Another year has passed and it is time for my usual new year post. 2022 was the year I took off from work, worked and focused only on my health. What a journey it has been. Starting from getting a diagnosis for my mental health to getting surgeries done and slowly getting back to what I could call my normalcy.
Throughout this whole ordeal somehow my family did their best and stayed by my side. Helped me however they can, sacrificed a lot of their sleep and ran around keeping me comfortable. Friends were always on top of me getting updates and scolding me when I wasn’t sleeping or not taking care of myself. As slow as the year inched now that I look back it seems like everything happened so long ago and time flew past me like the cyclone we got in Chennai a few months ago.
My constants through all of this would be my cats. After every difficult therapy session I would go and just sit with them reminding myself that it is okay and I have my fur babies. They did not even know they were helping me through some of my toughest times mentally and physically. I am thankful for having such a loving presence in my life.
I started with two therapy sessions a week and ended the year with one session a month. Dealt with some major issues that don’t affect me now. Every time my therapist told me she is proud of me to have improved so much, I refused to believe her. I mean these things take a longer time right? Turns out, with the right amount of effort you will feel the difference in about a year! Funny how I wouldn’t take it up even when the professional treating me is saying. After so many failures you would expect another failure only no?
Finally found a decent gynecologist all the way in Mumbai to treat my endometriosis. I have none other than NJ to thank for it. She pushed me to get it checked and get it diagnosed sooner than later. Took me a year and the trauma of dealing with some really bad doctors. But now I have gotten my surgery done. I still get endo-belly every time I eat anything. But I suppose that is just the norm now. I am hoping things go well when I am taken off my medication too. So fingers crossed on that front!
The first thing I did in 2022 was get a covid test done before my Endoscopic Sinus Surgery. That was a fun 3 months. Having blood pour out of your nose was a weird experience. I was using soft tissue paper so much to wipe the blood for the first one week. I still get sinus blockage and pain, but nothing as severe as before. I still use the neti pot and clear out my sinuses once a week.
This post sure turned into one medical journal of sorts no? Well that was my year. Did nothing but work on my health from all angles. I am in a better place both physically and mentally. There is still a lot of room to improve and get even better. I am working hard on a daily basis to take care of myself in the best way possible. I worked on establishing boundaries with people. I am working on doing the same with friends now. Life has been one constant learning curve. But for once, I am glad I did all of the above. I can proudly say that I accomplished this.
Even now something as simple as getting up from bed, taking a shower and having a healthy meal is an achievement for me from time to time. It is not an easy path. I still get a lot of low phases. I deal with them all. I celebrate every single achievement no matter how small it is. For someone it could be the most basic action, but for me on that particular day that would have been the greatest accomplishment of all times.
I don’t expect people to understand this part. I have come to terms that this is my battle and mine alone. I can’t expect anybody to see my perspective. Sometimes I put myself down saying I haven’t done anything this year and my therapist corrected me saying I worked on myself and that is a lot of work. I faced my fears. I am still fighting but this time, I am like Neo after he realizes there is no spoon in The Matrix! It will take me a long time before I can master it all and fly around wearing a cool overcoat.
Until then…
