{"id":1187,"date":"2020-01-02T09:51:29","date_gmt":"2020-01-02T04:21:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.wordpress.com\/?p=1187"},"modified":"2020-01-02T09:51:29","modified_gmt":"2020-01-02T04:21:29","slug":"what-am-i-thankful-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/?p=1187","title":{"rendered":"What Am I Thankful For?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Every year I put up a post on what that year taught me. Usually it will be something on the notes of me getting stronger over the obstacles. 2019 was a tad bit different if I have to say so. There were a series of losses that began during late 2018 and continued well into 2019. The final and biggest blow happened in March. As usual to cope I went back on dating apps and got my heart broken big time. The final one happened on Christmas day. So now I am just wondering what should I be thankful for?<\/p>\n

I mean I lost the one person I looked up to in this world. Now I feel more abandoned than I had ever felt in my life. I wished I didn’t say all those things to him. He was in so much pain and never even thought he could tell me about it. The man had been dying for more than 24 hours before we took him to the hospital. I am still blaming myself. Had I been in good terms with him, maybe he would have told me about his pain sooner and we could have avoided the whole thing. But no use in thinking like this now right? What happened has happened. So Lesson 1: Accept the shitty life and go on.\u00a0<\/strong>I am thankful for this lesson. Acceptance has never been my forte. But life did not have to play such a hard trick on me for it.<\/p>\n

Getting back up when life knocks you down isn’t that easy. How one goes about it depends on each individual. Some of them rely on their family for support. Some hold onto friends. Some have their own ways of getting back up without taking help from anybody. And then there’s me who mixes all of it and bounces from one way to another. Sometimes family doesn’t help much, so I go to friends and sometimes I feel guilty about pulling my friends down along with me, so I try to do it myself and burn out. And then the cycle continues. That is when I learnt this\u00a0Lesson 2: No right way to cope up. <\/strong>You just do whatever works for you and do it. There is no right or wrong way.<\/p>\n

And when life weighs me down, which it does a lot I tend to go off the grid. Especially when I feel that I am losing control over things. I don’t know if it is a wrong thing to do. But I do it to calm myself down and regain my composure. It has sort of helped me in the past. It is when I go back into a cocoon and come back a little healed than before.\u00a0Lesson 3: Know when to take a step back.\u00a0<\/strong>If we keep hustling all the time, it will just burn us out easily. When energy levels are down, it is much better to stay back at home and rest up than working hard and collapsing.<\/p>\n

Through all of the shit that happened in 2019 one constant thing I saw were the people I chose to keep in my life. The ones who fought to be in it no matter what. I have no words to thank them. I do not know if they will be there for a long time in my life. And I am not about to think about it as well. I have lost some pretty serious friendships over the years. But the ones I got now are pretty awesome if I have to say. They are not at all fazed at the shit life throws at me or the way I decide to deal with it. There were others as well who kind of stepped over the boundary in hopes of helping. Sometimes that is not a good thing. Even if the intentions were good, sometimes distance is a good thing. Space and boundaries are a good thing. Respecting all of that matters.\u00a0Lesson 4: Stick with people who respect you a 100%\u00a0<\/strong>Anything lesser is never going to work. And if your respect for someone goes down let them know or learn to stay a little away.<\/p>\n

These are things I learnt through the year and even implemented them well. I suppose I should be thankful for the lessons. I should be thankful that I still have the clarity to learn from things. I should be thankful for the fact that I am still physically well and can go on without much issues. I should be thankful to have a few good souls around me who wish me the best for some strange reason. I should be thankful for being able to find the good even through the darkest of times. I should be thankful for words like “Naangallam irukom la.” and “Don’t worry machi. Paathukalam. Ellarum irukom.” I should be thankful for being able to smile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Every year I put up a post on what that year taught me. Usually it will be something on the notes of me getting stronger over the obstacles. 2019 was a tad bit different if I have to say so. There were a series of losses that began during late 2018 and continued well into…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[391,392,443,557,561,727],"class_list":["post-1187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inner-musings","tag-friends","tag-friendship","tag-happiness","tag-lessons","tag-life","tag-people"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":97,"today_views":0},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1187\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aratrikaspeaks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}